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By ZeroSometimes she thinks about math.
She wonders if there's an equation for her depression.
The number of times you cut yourself today squared,
minus the unhealed wounds from the day before
by the number of days this week you felt pretty.
The total meals you threw up in the last month
multiplied by the pounds you didn't starve off
by the number of times you told the truth about it.
The mean of the slurs hurled at you by strangers
and the ones flung by friends
by the number of people you know who love you.
She was never good at math.
She forgets you can't divide by zero.
the pills don't workA few weeks ago
my doctor called me
"You have a
with the tendencies of an insomniacthe loneliest part of her day
is going to sleep
knowing when she wakes up
she'll still be
She called me Ma'am. He called me Miss.The bank called today, trying to sell you life insurance. You let them babble because it's their job and you couldn't get a word in edgewise and you're too polite to simply hang up. When the woman on the other line finishes her spiel you tell her you're not interested, but she insists so you listen. Letting her speak for another minute couldn't hurt, right?
She starts telling you how you should be prepared in the case of a sudden death. Car crashes, drowning, equipment malfunction, cancer, disease contracted overseas, covered. You aren't going to buy this insurance but you want to ask if suicide was covered under it anyway.
But you weren't planning on dying. Not today, anyway. Not for a while. You stopped that.
She transfers you to another associate. You tell him he's wasting his time, because you simply aren't interested and don't have the need for this program.
He lists off some statistics. The number of people who die in accidents every year. What the average funeral costs in Canada
it was cold when I woke upI long to trace invisible trails
across your face, like wind
I yearn to feel your heartbeat
cuddled up against your chest
I crave all of your kisses
I ache to give you mine
Wishing upon a falling star
I'll sing you lullabies
Ninety-EightI want you here on my darkest nights
when razor blades can't scare the frights
and scars aren't enough to face my fears
haunting, taunting all of these years
I want you here on my brightest days
when sun shines dim under my rays
and our laughter comes in fits and starts
prancing, dancing never apart
I want you here for everything
The good and bad, the in between
You're HomeThe only place I know I'm safe
Is someplace I may never be
If home is where the heart is
I'm still living overseas
Red PenShe has a red pen, holds it close
Reminded of a boy
She plays with it but not his heart
A heart is not a toy
Sometimes she writes and stops herself
Afraid, for ink runs dry
Superstitious mind, she reasons
Red pens, like love, can die
She saves the pen, saving the ink
Never once she forgets
By losing it she loses him
Her heart is in his debt
The Abyss in The SkyWould you still
love me if i inject
your heart into my
& make you the
we can finally drown in the abyss in the sky.
i'm going to ask
the piano man
to play it again
with a drink
in my right hand
so that i may
i forgot to remember you this yearaugust 24th
was just another day
i didn't buy
yellow carnations and
i didn't cry.
i don't know
if this means i'm
moving on or if
you were ever
Knowing and caring for thyself...Knowing and caring for thyself is only half a life, a full life requires caring for others. We keep ourselves healthy and strong so we can contribute to the symbiotic life of society, concerning ourselves with only ourselves is a form of selfish vanity that only contributes to societies delusions of grandeur and self importance..Use love as a shield and faith as your sword, and if that fails..But never concern or love yourself so much, that you forget your purpose for being part of a larger symbiotic astrobiological system, which happens to contain our individual perspective of anthropological ecology.However, just because our perception allows us to feel separate, with individual realities.Our physical lives only reveal many perspectives of an infinitely existing, commonly sensed, timely cognitive perception...
soonone sight from vision,
ones kept in listening,
the tree that fell
that kept its position-
there's love in the moon
and more wishing than a song
Until...You were my muse
My Beautiful Saving Grace,
But life's made of seasons,
And so many have passed.
And we've lost,
And we've changed
So very much.
You have to know
I love you so much,
But we've ripened,
And I don't want to be Dead.
So let me kiss you one last time
And wipe the tears from both our eyes.
I love you,
I miss you,
But I can't say goodbye.
So “good luck”
And I'll miss you,
I love you,
Until next time.
fellone list for green,
as many as been seen-
only living in a curled up position,
winter wishing and to my heart's inclination.
we have no wish towards hell,
only listless pushing from a drill-
one's great father for me now,
when tense loving from you fell.
A SparkAnd I feel like a wounded animal
Limbs all tangled up
With the way you look at me
Like you don't have a care in the world
But I care,
I care so much it hurts,
The pain visceral and pounding,
I really, really do.
And I feel desperation,
It's clawing up my throat,
But I swallow the nail,
I smile past the burn
Because it earns me a smile,
Beautiful and cold,
And I think I'd do anything...
I thought I'd do anything,
To try and light a spark in your eyes,
But it's never enough,
And I'm starting to wonder
If it isn't me?
If maybe it's you.
Because I have a spark,
Though it tries to flicker and die
Under your cold regard.
Yet still I sit here playing
Your quiet, perfect little girl.
But I'm cracking.
Oh god, I'm bleeding...
Another Time Then.Do you remember the time
When we first saw eachother
We were so young then.
Do you remember the feeling
That we shared when we first kissed?
We were so oblivious then.
Do you remember the night
When you first said you loved me?
We thought we knew everything then.
I remember the day
that I started figuring things out
It was because of you
I remember the moment
I realized that I loved you
You were everything that made me.
I remember the year
when everything came together
I gave you all of me.
Please, always remember the time
the memories that we have.
I love them all.
Please, don't forget you and I
the things that we share
The things we'll continue to.
Please, remember that no one
will ever love you the way that I do.
And please, remember
that what we share is beautiful
and won't ever happen again.
Our memories created us.
Our memories sustain us.
And new experiences await us.
I long to make new memories
to have bright, new things to remember
anything that includes you, I know
I will nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More