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the pills don't workA few weeks ago
my doctor called me
"You have a
with the tendencies of an insomniacthe loneliest part of her day
is going to sleep
knowing when she wakes up
she'll still be
She called me Ma'am. He called me Miss.The bank called today, trying to sell you life insurance. You let them babble because it's their job and you couldn't get a word in edgewise and you're too polite to simply hang up. When the woman on the other line finishes her spiel you tell her you're not interested, but she insists so you listen. Letting her speak for another minute couldn't hurt, right?
She starts telling you how you should be prepared in the case of a sudden death. Car crashes, drowning, equipment malfunction, cancer, disease contracted overseas, covered. You aren't going to buy this insurance but you want to ask if suicide was covered under it anyway.
But you weren't planning on dying. Not today, anyway. Not for a while. You stopped that.
She transfers you to another associate. You tell him he's wasting his time, because you simply aren't interested and don't have the need for this program.
He lists off some statistics. The number of people who die in accidents every year. What the average funeral costs in Canada
it was cold when I woke upI long to trace invisible trails
across your face, like wind
I yearn to feel your heartbeat
cuddled up against your chest
I crave all of your kisses
I ache to give you mine
Wishing upon a falling star
I'll sing you lullabies
Ninety-EightI want you here on my darkest nights
when razor blades can't scare the frights
and scars aren't enough to face my fears
haunting, taunting all of these years
I want you here on my brightest days
when sun shines dim under my rays
and our laughter comes in fits and starts
prancing, dancing never apart
I want you here for everything
The good and bad, the in between
You're HomeThe only place I know I'm safe
Is someplace I may never be
If home is where the heart is
I'm still living overseas
Red PenShe has a red pen, holds it close
Reminded of a boy
She plays with it but not his heart
A heart is not a toy
Sometimes she writes and stops herself
Afraid, for ink runs dry
Superstitious mind, she reasons
Red pens, like love, can die
She saves the pen, saving the ink
Never once she forgets
By losing it she loses him
Her heart is in his debt
You can't manage more than ten push-ups after the hour-long cardio session. You crumple, shamefaced, and reach for the water bottle.
You gulp down the water too fast. It cascades soothingly down your throat. Tsunamis crash into your empty stomach. There's a scintilla of bliss before your mind and body unanimously reject the sudden fullness in your belly.
It's been too long since you last thrust a toothbrush down your gullet. It takes you three tries before your gag reflexes finally submit. You stare into the swirls of saliva and think to yourself, 'Third time's the charm.' You laugh and you don't know why. Tears you weren't aware of shedding spill into the toilet bowl.
You stand up, wipe off your toothbrush and continue on with your work out.
This moment is momentous.
There's no going back now.
DiscreetWhat I miss most is not the sex
but the moments that slipped quietly by
like brushing our teeth together
in matching pajamas, you turning
to me and saying, pasty foam
running down your chin,
“You know what love is?
Love is being stupid together.”
aphrodite had her brutal lovers.my books listen to my 3am whispers and absorb my tears.
their creases fold like mine and bookmark old affairs-
but leave me hanging like drapes on the broken bed posts.
every fire-ridden song comes with ghosts.
they make sweet love to my ears, treasure me;
but they tend to do their time and leave, sting like a bee.
a temporary fill-- like a one-night stand
but like many things, their aftereffects may come unplanned.
coffee was the bad boy; entoxicating like a drug.
snuck him in at midnight, he was one bad thug.
he kept me up all night and made me scream-
but for the record, he was a bitter teenage dream.
speaking of dreams, is sleep not pure bliss?
the darkness gives me the best goodnight kiss.
it wraps me up as if to keep me safe in it's heat-
only to /burn/ me at the fucking stake, my nightmares uncomplete.
whisper, sweet prince, i'm delirious.
but fuck, handsome, let's be serious.
i'm running out of words to describe my feelings--
bargaining with the devil, basking in his dealings.
Cher, Ex Amant[Dear, ex lover]
Cher, ex amant
I promise to get rid of the poems
you’ve written for me,
to forget the late night talks we’ve shared,
And marry a man that will care.
I’ll give my heart to him,
The way I was never able to give it to you,
and when I have a daughter,
I promise to look at the innocence in her eyes,
Hold on to her naivety.
When she falls in love
And gets her heart broken,
I’ll write strength down her spine,
fill it with independence
while whispering your name in my pillow.
If she asks me what I said,
I’ll tell her that I know how it feels
to love someone so much
that it feels as if your heart might burst.
I’ll tell her that she needs to be strong,
to ignore the acidic butterfly in her stomach,
that feels as if they want to rip out
and fly away.
Lost Within YouI found you, distraught and a disaster, wild red hair
baggy t-shirts and jeans covered in paint I knew I loved you
from the minute our eyes met at that concert, our souls resonated
together in unison that night, I did everything I could in my power to help
put you back together, and to lead you to the light, it consumed my
soul like wildfire, the potential that I saw a small seed within
you, I wanted to see it blossom and flourish to spring to life,
the amazing woman that I saw within you hidden beneath
layers of sorrow and sadness it was exhausting and
frustrating so many times over but I loved you
unlike any other, so I pushed through and I
never let go, no matter how crazy our
love got, it was our crazy love, I
never dreamed that in the end
we would walk separate
ways after five long
years, never did I
dream I could
In the end you found your way, your potential
blossomed into the fullness that I always knew was
possible, and in the end it was your steps and your h
The Taste of PoetryYou taste like poetry.
Lips like Frost's road less traveled.
Eyes like Longfellow's days of sunshine.
You smell like autumn and summer;
the scent of changing leaves in your hair,
the sweetness of blue skies in your face.
You sound like a storm.
Voice soft as rain against the windows,
words rolling like thunder through dreams.
You remind me of red.
Your moods are cerise blooming flowers.
Your warmth glowing like coals.
Half An InchYour lips are half an inch from mine, and still it’s not enough
Your breath is here upon my own, but I don’t want to stop
You pull me somewhat closer, your hands upon my hips
And half an inch is halved again, I can no longer breathe
Your hand is running up my back, resting on my neck
I feel your fingers in my hair, and still it’s not enough
Hesitating seconds more, and eons seem to pass
Waiting still while feeling you, and I want more to come
This distance growing shorter still, while my desire sears
Your lips are touching mine, yet only brushing them
I’m begging you to kiss me, but can’t say it aloud
Just feeling your soft mouth, a hint of mint inside
My body, tip to toe, is screaming for this kiss,
My soul about to burst and I want you to know
Finally, after lifetimes pass, you pull me even closer
Your upper lip is parting mine, I let the fire burn
Your tongue finds mine, embraces mine, it plays and hungers deeper
As you kiss me, I lapse deeper, fa
Hard to PhraseYou put yourself out there consistently, trying to do the right thing, though you're not sure what that is.
You wear a mask, to satisfy an incessant need to appease and lie, though it corrupts you, and at the same time heals others.
You lick your wounds, and lament your situation, all the while proud of your morals, the same ones that keep you down.
Fail and you will live again, but to what avail? To what holy grail will you aspire once you realize you have no desires? For who do you live, and for that matter, for who do you die?
It shows judgment, it shows grace, the way I lied right to your face.
I don't know how I will prevail, but all I know is I must not fail.
Yet if redemption tastes like ice, I know distance I'll despise.
Suddenly my mind grows still, with no more journey left to till,
I sit back with my soul asunder, as the night give way to thunder,
I forget to say goodbye, the tears start streaming down my eyes,
So now I'll face you yet again, with any courage I can apprehend
Giving UpA heart made of stone,
left calloused and alone.
Watch as I tear it out,
and crush it beneath my heel.
If only the stars would align,
give me something to scream about,
while I take a knife and carve out
that thing most people call emotion.
Don't worry, it's not like I
really needed it anyway, that
dead and rotting thing inside
my brain like a form of cancer.
Sometimes, I forget exactly why
I want to destroy everything.
Then reality sets back in,
and I go back to what I used to be.
Why Must I Love You? My Dearest Friend.I've known you for so long,
Told you so much,
And missed you so mcuh.
But I never though of you like this before.
We connected so well when we first met,
The shy girl,
And the goofy boy.
But I never would have guessed you.
You who can make me smile,
Just by walking by.
You who always gives me a hug,
Even when I don't know I need one.
Now find myself crying,
Day after day.
I know you could never feel like this,
not for me.
Our days are numbered,
Until you leave.
You will move on with your life,
Probably never giving me a second thought.
I know you could never return my feeling,
I love you.
I think about you every waking moment,
And are only truly happy when around you.
Love does this to us,
And in love you have two possibilities,
Fall for the jerk,
or the nice guy.
You've seen me falling for jerks,
Well now I fell for a nice guy.
The sweetest nice guy ever!
It hurts even more though.
Everyday knowing you'll never feel the same,
And never wanting a moment with you to end,
But the cl
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More